Let's talk Peanut

I haven't really talked much about this pregnancy, or Peanut. Mostly because we outed ourselves less than two weeks ago. But also, because there hasn't been much to report. Oh, yeah. And the paralyzing anxiety, but more on that later.

I had my 16 week check up today and Peanut is doing marvelously. I was able to hear the heartbeat and it was a perfect 150 bpm. Everything is looking good, and I even lost 4 lbs. Normally weight loss isn't ideal during pregnancy, but when you have some extra fluff, as I do, it's alright. Tomorrow I'm getting volunteering for a free ultrasound at a continuing education school for ultrasound techs. I'm VERY excited. I don't go back to my doctor for the Big Ultrasound (read: we'll find out if Peanut is a boy or a girl) until December 28th. I'm really, really, really hoping that we'll be able to see tomorrow, but I'm not counting on it.

I don't often talk about our struggles with infertility. We don't struggle nearly as hard as other people I know, and for that I'm very thankful. Although I've had numerous miscarriages, the extent of our treatment has been lots of doctor visit copays and many rounds of relatively affordable medications. Once I can get pregnant, and stay pregnant past the first couple of months, my body amazingly does pregnancy well. (I'm gonna go ahead and knock on wood here..) With Grayden I had minimal morning sickness and some pretty bad headaches that pretty much went away after 20 weeks. I had blood pressure/protein issues at the very end that resulted in bed rest and eventually a successful induction which gave me a healthy, happy baby.

This time has been even easier. I can count on probably one hand how many times I've gotten sick. I've been pretty queasy plenty of times, but it's been manageable. I've also had some bad headaches, but even those aren't as bad as they were with Grayden. This time my most severe symptom has been near paralyzing anxiety attacks. I have convinced myself countless times of some sort of doom and gloom, despite any symptoms or indications that anything is wrong. My lack of symptoms has manifested a whole new symptom. I know in my sane mind that I should be thankful that I've had such an easy time. But in my crazy mind an easy, enjoyable pregnancy means certain doom.

I'm trying very hard to get over my irrational fears and enjoy this pregnancy. It seems to be flying by and I can't believe I'm 16 weeks already. The more I feel the baby move, the better I'm going to feel I think. I just need to get to that point without losing my mind.

In other news, Grayden is getting bigger by the day. I swear he grows into more of a big boy overnight. He learned a new word over the weekend, 'back pack'. It's one of the clearer words he can say and I can't help but smile when he says it. He also is a huge fan of Santa, but won't say 'Santa'. Instead, around our house, the big guy is referred to as 'Ho Ho'. This kid kills me with his cuteness.

I have some pictures to put up of our weekend trip to visit the Norrow's. We celebrated my birthday. went to the Christmas parade and hung out. Maggie and Grayden played together really well all weekend, and together they're just the cutest things I've ever seen. I'll try to get those up tonight or tomorrow morning.